of finding light in the dark....

How do you make sense of your feelings? When does the line between friendship and what lies beyond that become a blur? Suddenly you find yourself facing a rather confused state of mind. On one hand you are somewhat emotionally unavailable, and on the other you realize that letting go might just be what you need to move on. And on the road to moving on you have complications and twists. Life is indeed full of surprises. When you least expect it, someone comes knocking on your door and you don't feel like shutting him out the way you've done to all those other men before him. Perhaps it was just the music. Or maybe it was the rain? Could it have been the late night drive that made you feel mellow and romantic all of a sudden? Or was it the person himself? Suddenly there was this strong urge to lay your head on his shoulders and forget about all the complications. I think I need to get away for a few days. Just to clear my head and figure out what on earth is happening. It's difficult enough having to deal with my own emotional turmoil but when the other party decides to play chess in the sense that, today he makes one bold step forward and the next day he decides to take ten steps backwards, then it's becoming a bit too taxing on my emotions. I understand the complications, the circumstances, but what I can't understand is why am I feeling this way again? My head is telling me that I don't care but somehow the heart seems to have a mind of its own. You really can't control these things. Once upon a time, I said this to someone: I can tell my head what to think, but I can't tell my heart what to feel. Sometimes I wish I could just shut down my emotional system and function like a robot, because eventhough I'm only 26, I feel like I'm already 50. Emotionally drained and tired. So dear readers, answer me this, what do you do when you find yourself slowly developing an emotional attachment for your 'friend's' best friend?