of bright lights and skyscrapers...

This year marks the tenth year I've called KL my home. Leaving my comfort zone in Kedah in 1999 was a difficult thing to do initially. It was followed by constant trips back and forth between Kedah and KL; almost weekly..and as the years passed, the trips began to dwindle. Slowly I was able to adapt to this big, bad city and now I can safely say that KL runs through my blood and I will probably miss it if I ever decide to move elsewhere. My relationship with this city has been that thin line between love and hate. It sits in that grey area where I can't quite diss it totally for the horrible jam and pollution; nor can I totally enjoy the fast-paced rat race and bright neon lights at night. But I can safely say that this city is now my home; it has been for the past 10 years of my existence. It's really hard to fathom how fast time flies. I still remember the very first day I registered for my matriculation in PJ; the very day my life in this city began. And this year will mark 10 years since that moment. Despite the crazy traffic, the horrible air pollution sometimes, the mad rush to achieve being 10 places at one time, the fast food galore, the mamak stalls on every corner, I can't imagine not being here. I've always wanted to go overseas, but come to think of it, I would enjoy travelling for holidays, but I don't think I can leave this city for good. It has become so much a part of me. The traffic and the cursing and the insane havoc of it all has embedded itself within my veins that I relish the fact that I decided to come here some 10 years ago. Although I don't know what the future holds for me, I do believe that I am destined to make my mark in this city. Raising children here might not be the best of ideas but then again it is up to the parents to ensure that their kids turn out fine and not allow them to get caught up in the craziness of city life. I've pretty much seen it all, experienced a lot of things, tasted life as I fumbled my way through the ups and downs, laughed and cried, loved and lost, dancing and crawling.... but at the end of the day, life is what you make of it. Choices are what you decide based on your upbringing and a sense of what's right and wrong. I have pretty much enjoyed my life here and I wouldn't have had it any other way. The people I've met, the things I've been through... they have all made me what I am today. All in all, in conjunction with the upcoming Hari Wilayah Persekutuan, I would like to raise an imaginary glass and say "To KL, my home away from home." Here's to many, many more years of greatness and madness...

of being hopeful...

It feels like the dawn of a brand new beginning watching Obama dance away with his wife to Etta James' classic At Last. Yet one can't help but wonder does he really bring hope as he steps into the Oval Office and assumes his position as the very first Black President of the United States of America. Of course when we look at it from the colour point of view, the fact that America has spoken and the result was that they wanted him as President, goes to show that they have come a long way since the days of the Ku Klux Klan. Reverend Dr Martin Luther King Jr is probably smiling away in his grave. The people have probably come a long way, but have the political scenarios changed? Or will he be another puppet on a string? I am trying to think positive and hope for the best, but is that the reality? I wonder if Obama actually realizes that the entire world is hoping for him to perform a miracle. We are in such a disastrous state everywhere that we have opted to rest our hopes on the shoulders of America's first Black President. Will it be in vain? The question remains until we actually see some changes.

On the home front, economic disaster is sweeping in although the government wants us to remain hopeful. Perhaps we won't get hit as bad as other countries. Again, we hope. It seems that we do a lot of that these days. We hope that the war in Gaza will reach an end. We hope that the economy will take a turn for the better in the near future. We hope that oil prices will continue to drop or at least not rise again. We hope that people will be more race tolerant. We hope that our children are spared from the lunatics out there who insist on killing and kidnapping and raping little kids. We hope and we hope and we continue to hope.

Sometimes people fail to realize that if we only go back to basics, things might get better. Yet we chose to complicate matters and make things difficult for those around us. Life is complicated enough as it is without us having to make it harder. If only world leaders or even you and I, would just take a minute and consider going back to basics, we might actually achieve what all the miss universe's have been preaching to us all these while; world peace. It's not that difficult, really. Just stop being selfish and power crazy. That's all it takes. God made the world big enough for all of us.

At the end of the day, after having said all I have said, another statement prevails; what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...

starry, starry night...

As i gaze upon the stars above,
I ask the night what is love;
The moon replies just close your eyes,
For that is where the answer lies;
I listened and did as I was told,
And patiently awaited for the answer to unfold;
My heart beat fast and suddenly I knew,
An image appeared, but of course it was you;
I gazed again upon the stars above,
And I tell the night that yes I've found love......

of increasing numerals and decreasing sadness...

1st of January came and went. Another new year. Another list of resolutions. More crap to come. Old crap to deal with. Yet I'm grinning away like a mugcat. Hey, I'm happy. Or at least I'm trying my best to keep my spirits up and look at the glass as being half full. I'm tired of it being half empty, anyway. So my new year resolution is to be happy.

This new year kicked off with a bang. Of all my years being in KL, I have never actually attended any new year parties, with the exception of stupid countdowns in KLCC and Bukit Bintang. So this year I decided to opt for something new and joined my friends at a New Year's bash that was somewhat decent. No alcohol was served at the place, which means no drunken idiots yelling away or behaving like a moron. That was a good thing. The place was family-friendly so there were kids running around with balloons. All in all, I felt a bit old but the important thing was that I had fun. I was laughing the whole time we were there and I even got co-erced into dancing! But hey we won! There was this dancing contest for couples and my date and I decided to throw caution to the wind and just dance. We were neither a couple nor were we dancers, but I think we did okay, especially considering the fact that we had to dance to a dangdut song!

As the clock struck midnight, everyone cheered and welcomed 2009 with hordes of laughter and good feelings. Of course already feeling older than I actually am, it was only 12.30 when I started to yawn and feel extremely sleepy. So soon after that we decided to call it a night and all of us headed back. Just to prove a point that I am actually ageing, I missed the turn to my house and had to make a turn back. But despite feeling a bit old I really enjoyed myself. I felt like a working girl who's finally deserving a bit of fun after hours. Wait a minute, I am a working girl!

:-) Now after months of being a professional bummer and a part-timer, I finally got myself a permanent job! Amazing considering how much of a non-conformist I am. It's still very much hard to believe that I am now going to the office every morning and working my way through the day. But behold, what's more amazing than that is the fact that I'm actually enjoying what I do. Oh well, I guess it's about time.

Other than that, I vow to make this year better than before. Perhaps I should try to be more accommodating and less sensitive. Hmm or would that be something like asking an elephant to grow wings? But stranger things have happened! So don't lose hope just yet. I know I'm not.

To those of you who are familiar with my style of writing and with my attitude towards life, you would probably notice that this posting is a bit more cheerful and carefree than my previous writings! Well, perhaps that's the new me kicking in. I don't know. The way I see it, I've got a job I love, my family finally feels like I'm heading somewhere in life, I've got a brilliant guy in my life, my friends are great, and I'm writing again... So all in all, Alhamdulillah.

Therefore in the spirit of a brand new year, here's raising a metaphorical glass and saying, "Life is what you make of it. Keep hope alive and sooner or later your rainbow will come shining through..."