forever's too big a word....

I feel like writing but honestly I am fresh out of ideas. My head is filled with script translations, which means for the next few months my thoughts will be thought in standard Malay language! Basically, at the point of writing this, or rather typing it, I am at the batcave. I officially began my translation duties here a couple of days ago and I must say that it's becoming a much needed distraction. I love it here. The environment is such that it makes one feel extremely comfortable. No doubt I've got a lot on my plate right now, but this job is doing me good. For the time that I spend here, my problems take a backseat for a while.

Let me see, what can I ramble about today? The election is near, so that could be a topic, but I don't think I'm gonna get into that because it will only end up making me all stressed out. I checked my voting status online earlier and turns out that I am a registered voter. But of course, there is no way in hell that I'm going to vote. The whole thing is just insanely ridiculous that it makes you sick to the stomach just looking at all the banners and flags being put up everywhere. Imagine this for a second, if you take all the money they utilized to put up those flags, and use it to feed the poor instead, how many mouths do you think we could feed? Heck of a lot, that's for sure. But noooooooooo, the flags are more important somehow. These idiotic politicians brag about bringing down prices, eliminating social injustice, bla bla bla, but do they even sit and think for a second about the good that they can actually do if only they put their minds and money where their mouth is. Do away with the stupid flags. If you do good, people will recognize it and vote for you because essentially at the end of the day, all we want is goodness. Unless and until I can see a distinct change in the way this country is being managed, only then will I exercise my rights as a citizen and vote. Otherwise, I'll just while my time away in this stupid country and move out when I have enough money. Enough with the stupidity, there's only so much a person can take. I know politics are the same everywhere you go, it's just like a delicate little flower, it always requires dirt to bloom. But it won't be so bad when you're in a different country because you know you don't belong there. It's depressing when you are told that you belong to this country, but you see so much injustice and blatant misuse of power going around at every corner. I may sound as though I don't know what I'm talking about, but when it comes to politics and managing a country, and social responsibility, I am a confirmed, card-carrying idealist. Is there hope yet for mankind? I would like to think so, otherwise where is the sense in living?

I really wanted to avoid writing about politics but I guess I can't help it what with the upcoming election being shoved down your throat everywhere you turn. Anyway, moving away to other matters, the sixth season of Akademi Fantasia will be airing soon. You would think that after 5 idiotic winners, they would have the decency to stop by now, but nooooooooooo, of course not, because they make shitloads of money off of us who vote for these people as though prepaid credit grew on trees. Again I am not going to get into this topic because as it is I can already feel my blood pressure rising. Let's talk about silver linings instead, because I believe silver linings are what keeps us from driving off a cliff, or jumping off a bridge or running over pedestrians like they were bowling pins.

I've always believed in keeping hope alive. No matter how stressed out I am, I have always kept a small place in my heart where hope still blooms. Because if you lose hope entirely, you may as well go walk in front of a moving train. Hope is important to keep your spirits up and to keep your faith alive. As much resentment as I have for the current state of the world, I still have a sliver of hope for humanity. That's what keeps you on your feet, what gets you out of bed every morning, what lulls you to bed at night. There's a silver lining up ahead if only you look hard enough. A warm hand that is gently placed on your arm to assure you that no matter how shitty things may be at the moment, it will somehow work out in the end. A caring smile from a friend who has your best interest at heart. A serving of ice-cream on a hot night. Late night conversations with a loved one. These are all the small things that does make a great difference in your life, especially when everything else doesn't seem to be working your way.

And I thank God for the silver linings in my life right now. Forever's too big a word anyway, with my current state of being, I am content with living for the moment and taking things as they come. Indeed, forever's too big a word....

and the Oscar goes to.......

I was watching the Oscars at batman’s lair this morning and as always I got caught up in the magic that is ‘bikin filem’. I am reminded of my lifelong dream of walking down the aisle, passing Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg on my right and Jodie Foster and Susan Sarandon on my left, the skirt of my black evening dress swishing as I make my way to the stage. The crowd cheering madly even though this was their first time hearing my name over the PA system with the orchestra playing that sweet song of victory as I make my way up the steps and straight into the arms of Pierce Brosnan who is presenting the award. The Oscar girl hands me the actor, and as Marlon Brando pointed out about a million years ago, it is heavier than it looks. As I cradle the naked golden actor in my hands, I gently look up to receive a peck on the cheek from Mr Brosnan and with stars still in my eyes and my head up in the clouds, I turn to face the audience, the camera and the rest of the world. “I would like to thank God for charting this path as my destiny and for putting me in this spot tonight. I would like to thank my family for putting up with my far-fetched dream. Thank you also to those who never faltered in their belief that I will make it here one day; Fareez, Adnin, Nawar. Without their love and support, this would not have been possible. And a big thank you to my husband and children for always having faith in me and for spurring me ahead on all those times that I was ready to throw in the towel and just get a job at Mcdonalds. Thank you to everyone involved in the making of this movie, without your hardwork this night would have remained a mere distant illusion. And of course thank you to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for this nomination and win. Once upon a time I made a decision to get into the movie line and I dared to dream big. This, ladies and gentlemen is the payoff. Indeed there is no business like show business. I am here now and mark my words, I am here to stay. This is only the beginning.” As the orchestra drowned out the claps and cheers, and as the microphone was silenced, I graciously accepted Pierce’s arm, and walked off the stage with Mr Remington Steele, my head still very much up in the clouds.

A long, long time ago I somehow knew that my life would head in the general direction of the entertainment line. Having grown up watching lots of movies, it was only natural that I would eventually make a career in it. Magic is made at the movies and I have always wanted to play an active role in creating that magic. Walt built Disneyland because he wanted a happy place where people could go to and just be happy. The Wright Brothers wanted to fly. Edison wanted to see in the dark and Washington wanted a free America. Throughout the years, the world has seen a lot of dreamers. Like the song, they all laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round and they all laughed when Edison recorded sound. Somehow amidst the noise of mockery and disbelief, you will yourself to close your eyes and deafen your ears as you drown out the sound of their laughter and listen instead to the sound of your heart beating the drums of your dream into reality.

Of course I am nowhere near the Kodak Theatre just yet, but I intend to get there. How I do it, I haven’t the faintest idea, but I’ve got my dreams in my hand and a wishing star in my pocket. And as God is my witness, I will keep at it if it’s the last thing I do.